The Ordinary Moment That Changed Everything

On this week’s episode of The True North Show I am joined by Eli Brackenbury, an incredible man who absolutely loves to share his healing journey in the hope that others may resonate and relate to what he has been through. Our conversation dives into the ordinary moment that changed everything for him and how his faith, trust and the moments of silence and stillness connects him with God and the wisdom that is gifted to him in those moments. Eli is open, honest and so authentic and that shines through so strongly in my time with him.

Bio:

Eli Brackenbury is a writer, father, and EHS professional whose unexpected spiritual awakening at fifty reshaped every part of his life. After years marked by divorce, grief, striving and quiet spiritual dryness, Eli encountered God in an ordinary moment that ignited an extraordinary journey of healing, purpose and renewed faith.

Blending honesty, practical insight and a deeply relatable midlife perspective, Eli writes for readers who feel stuck, searching or quietly longing for something more. His work speaks especially to those returning to faith after years away, as well as sceptics and seekers who want a “real-life,” non-churchy approach to spiritual growth.

Eli shares reflections on faith, identity, mental health, leadership and everyday spirituality where his authentic storytelling has resonated with readers navigating seasons of transition, doubt and rediscovery.

He lives in Washington and is the father of three adult children who continue to inspire his writing, his growth and his walk with God. Finding God at 50 is his debut book and the first in a planned series exploring the journey of spiritual transformation at every stage of life.

Social Media:

Website: https://www.elibrackenbury.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elibrackenbury

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/elibrackenbury

Transcript:

[00:33] Megan North:
Hello and welcome to the True North Show. I’m your host Megan North. I am joined by Eli Brackenbury, a writer, father, and EHS professional whose unexpected spiritual awakening at fifty shaped every part of his life.

After years marked by divorce, grief, striving, and quiet spiritual dryness, Eli encountered God in an ordinary moment that ignited an extraordinary journey of healing, purpose, and renewed faith. Blending honesty, practical insight, and a deeply relatable midlife perspective, Eli writes for readers who feel stuck, searching, or quietly longing for something more.

His work speaks especially to those returning to faith after years away, as well as sceptics and seekers who want a real-life, non-churchy approach to spiritual growth. Eli shares reflections on faith, identity, mental health, leadership, and everyday spirituality, where his authentic storytelling has resonated with readers navigating seasons of transition, doubt, and rediscovery.

He lives in Washington and is the father of three adult children who continue to inspire his writing, his growth, and his walk with God. Finding God at 50 is his debut book and the first in a planned series exploring the journey of spiritual transformation at every stage of life.

Eli, welcome to the True North Show.

[02:18] Eli Brackenbury:
Megan, that was amazing. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to contribute, but I am so happy to be here. Thank you.

[02:24] Megan North:
Thank you so much. So Eli was fifty years old, navigating divorce, grief, and a quiet but persistent feeling that something was missing. And then in the most ordinary of moments, everything changed.

Eli, let’s go back to that moment when everything changed. What was happening in your life, and what did that ordinary moment actually look like?

[02:50] Eli Brackenbury:
It’s a great question. I had just gone through my second divorce, which society would deem a failure. The divorce was final on January twelfth of 2024. I had spent that night after my ex-wife had moved out, she’s a great lady, we have a great relationship, we raised two wonderful kids together, I have nothing bad to say about her. I take ownership in how things didn’t work out. Nobody to blame.

She moved out and I ended up cleaning the entire house. Mopping and turning over furniture and vacuuming and wiping walls and cleaning bathrooms and washing sheets. Probably four, five, six hours of that.

Then I went to TikTok and social media to escape the reality I was facing. My TikTok had been set to an algorithm of funny, lighthearted stuff. What came across my feed was Psalm 46:10: be still and know that I am the Lord your God. It kind of scared me at first, and then I thought: that actually feels pretty good. I liked the video. The very next video was Exodus 14:14: I the Lord your God will fight your battles for you. All you need to do is be still.

I put my phone down because I was freaking out. My life was in turmoil. I had just gone through a failure, a divorce. And what I found was that wasn’t what God was telling me.

God is going to talk to you in a way that you are open to. Social media is a great way to be open to that.

The following morning, that ordinary moment, I went into my kitchen and brewed a cup of coffee in a Keurig. I opened the lid, put the pod in, closed it, listened to the hiss of it brewing, and looked out my window wondering: what am I going to do now? This is divorce number two. Not only a failure, a failure times two. There must be something wrong with me.

And in that moment, looking out my window, I felt this presence. Not a hand on my shoulder. Not Jesus standing there saying I’ve got you. But looking back at the night before, in retrospect, he was talking to me: be still. Realise I am going to fight these battles for you. You are not in this alone.

People search for God. They seek, they look. God found me. He found me in the stillness of a chaotic storm where I should have been in sheer panic. I was going to take care of a house on one income. I was responsible for things I wasn’t prepared for. And Jesus came and said: you’re going to be fine. Just be still and know that I am going to fight these battles for you. Let’s do it together.

I had this incredible amount of peace at a moment when I shouldn’t have. I felt like I should have had my hair on fire. Instead, I felt a peace that transcends all human understanding. I felt incredible. I said: okay, let’s do this God, because I am tired of being tired. I’m tired of struggling and swimming upstream. Help me.

And he did. That was just the beginning. The beginning of trust and faith and patience. He was coming into my life and he was going to orchestrate it the way he had designed. It created an identity I didn’t create and didn’t even know was possible.

Because I released control of the things I cannot control and let somebody do for me what I could not do for myself, I just relinquished that control. That surrender we hear all about but I was never privy to, because I always put my hand up as a man and said: I’ve got this. I can do this on my own. But for the better part of half a century, I had failed.

So I just decided to do something different. I wasn’t in a terrible position. I wasn’t a drug addict or an alcoholic or dealing with a debilitating disease. I just said: no more. I cannot do this on my own. And that was the ordinary moment. I just sat there and listened to what God had for me. He had been constantly knocking at the door of my heart and I was always too busy. That was the plan the devil had for me. And I stopped. I just stopped and said: okay, what are you going to tell me that I don’t already know? And holy moly, did it ever change. In ways I can only give up to divine intervention.

[09:15] Megan North:
I love that. And I love that you touched on the point that in that silence, in that stopping and surrendering, that is where the peace is. I really resonate with that because I have this innate faith, this innate trust that I am always going to be looked after, that everything is going to work out. My parents are both passed. They are just here supporting me all the time. And it is that beautiful sense of peace, isn’t it? Of just thinking: we’ve got this. I’ve got the best team around me.

[10:03] Eli Brackenbury:
Absolutely. And if you think about stereotypical surrender, it is waving a white flag, saying I give up. That is not what God wants. He wants you to get out of your own way, to step aside and let him lead the path.

There is an old Scottish proverb: for every mile of path, there are two miles of ditch. On each side of the path, one side is religion, traditional religion, and the other side is rebellion, doing what you want without consequence. A lot of us walk this path but something on either side feels more comfortable and we jump to what we know. But God wanted me to stay on the path. And he said: I’m going to hold your hand and take you here.

It was the first time I said: what’s the worst thing that can happen? I am right back where I was. You take four left-hand turns, you end up where you started. God was asking me to go right. I will be with you. Trust me.

And the perspective of my life changed. The scenery was different.

If you hold on to all these different-size playground balls because they are yours, you can’t let go. But if you let go of them, you have an opportunity to grab onto the blessings God has for you. I got to a point where I said: worst thing is I’m right back where I was. Let’s try your way. And when I did that, everything in my life changed. Almost suddenly.

[12:44] Megan North:
I love that you talk about perspective. Once we are cracked open, we look around and think: my gosh, I didn’t know this, I’ve never seen this before. We’re giving permission: I am now willing and open to seeing anything you want to put in front of me. Through that surrender we realise all of these things were already around us.

So how was it writing the book? Was that something that came to you as well, or something you felt you needed to share as a new purpose?

[13:43] Eli Brackenbury:
Feelings are a barometer of direction. But I think a lot of people let their feelings define them. What I did was get rid of the idea that I was controlling anything. I grew up hearing let go and let God. In my thirties I heard that and thought: what does that mean?

This experience taught me that all roads do not lead to heaven. Some people are performing to a level they think they need to perform to reach sanctification. That’s not it. I grew up Catholic and felt like I had to perform to get to the next level. Jesus’s command was simply: follow me. The rest will work itself out if you get out of your own way.

My life had appeared to me as a failure up to that point. Three beautiful kids, they are not the failure. The failure was that I wasn’t present in the right way. I was living a life that wasn’t mine.

So I gave up the construction of what my identity should be to the one who created me. And that purpose, that identity built in him, made me think: there are a lot of people struggling with this on a basic level. There is something for you when you believe in Jesus Christ.

I started outlining the book and writing chapters, then stopped. I showed it to my fiancee at the time and asked her to take a look. She read it and said: it’s not done yet, is it? I said no. She said: you’ve got to keep going.

It is written like this interview. I’m not a celebrity. I’m not a guy who knows really anything, other than the struggles of life will come at you. And I get them too. Currently. But the storms of life teach you something: that they are meant to teach you to rely on faith. And the theme of the book became relationship over religion. Faith is not about rules, it’s about relationship. You don’t have to perform.

Jesus healed people and he didn’t ask them if they had tithed first, didn’t ask them if they had gone to confession. He simply loved everyone.

[20:46] Megan North:
Beautiful. And what I get with you, Eli, is that you just want to share what you’ve been through so that other people can connect and relate to that. This journey, your spiritual journey, your mental health journey, any type of journey, is your journey. And so do what works for you. Don’t worry about what social media tells you. Work out what works for you. And from a mental health and wellbeing point of view, was mental health something you looked at or prioritised prior to this, or has it become really important after?

[25:03] Eli Brackenbury:
It just came. I go back to the feeling in the kitchen, that ordinary moment with this tremendous peace. Jesus asks us: if you want to walk with me, you’re going to have to give up your cross daily and submit to the idea that you can’t control things. I thought: if it makes me feel this way, I’ll do whatever you want.

I wasn’t an angry person. I faced stress and anxiety like anyone. I just said: I have messed up to this point. The worst thing that can happen is I have anxiety and stress again. Let’s try something different.

There’s a meme with three kids looking over a fence. One is looking through a small hole, one is peering over, and the one on the tallest box can see everything. You just have to change the perspective in which you live your life and give up the idea that you can control your sanity. Life is going to keep throwing things at you. I just said: let’s give this a shot.

I didn’t have clinical depression. I had anxiety like everybody does. But I realised these storms were meant to teach me a lesson. They are teaching you that there is something greater than yourself to rely on. And as I matured in life, I matured in faith. It improved physical health, mental health, financial health. Everything in my life changed when I said: this is the plan you had for me. I’m sorry I didn’t do it sooner.

[27:30] Megan North:
Is there anything quirky you do that’s a little different from a mental health point of view?

[27:46] Eli Brackenbury:
Yes. I was talking to my twenty-one-year-old son. He was telling me all the struggles he’s having with his job. I let him vent because he needs to. Then I said: amen that you have this blessing of a job that pays your rent, your groceries, your utilities. Every day you wake up from what could be a coma. You have been gifted the opportunity to wake up with breath in your lungs.

Before my feet hit the ground, I say: God, thank you for waking me up. Give me the opportunity to do your will. Whatever that is, I’m open to it. Thank you.

That’s the quirky thing I guess. But if we have breath in our lungs and our eyes open up, he’s not done with us yet. You may not know what that means, but be open to the idea: I’m not dead. What’s the plan for me? Ask him. He’ll show you in ways you didn’t anticipate.

[29:15] Megan North:
I love that. Gratitude as soon as you wake up. A lot of people do gratitude in the evening. I do mine in the evening. But I love that as soon as you wake up, it’s: wow, I’m here. Show me what I need to do today.

[29:35] Eli Brackenbury:
It’s available. It’s not a membership fee. It’s free. Good things happen when you do it. And it’s funny, you never hear about somebody waking up and being thankful and having a terrible day because of it.

[30:56] Megan North:
Really beautiful. And you talk about divorce, grief, striving, and what you call spiritual dryness. That season before everything shifted. Looking back now, what do you think that spiritual dryness was actually trying to tell you? And why do you think so many people stay in that place for so long without realising it is their way through?

[31:25] Eli Brackenbury:
I think it’s comfortable. People go in the direction they know the outcome. Like four left-hand turns: you know the route, the scenery, what to expect. It’s predictable.

Another analogy I use is: you have to be uncomfortable to be comfortable in every situation. My wife talks about her faith walk and says she doesn’t think she can be as faithful as I am. And I say: that’s okay. God will point you in the right way. But you have to be uncomfortable to be comfortable.

Going back to the four left-hand turns: you know what the traffic patterns are, you know what to expect. But how has that suited you? Have you grown? I was fearful of growth because I couldn’t control what was feeding it. I got to a point where I needed something more. And the direction I got was: go right, go this way. Are you going to help me? Are you my map quest? I don’t know what to expect here. But the view you get, the scenery, the things you see, those are the things you have been craving all along.

You’re not meant to control these things. You’re simply meant to be still and know that I am the Lord your God. I’m not going to abandon you. I’m not going to forsake you. And that is one of more than 7,000 promises in the Bible.

Who has lied to you more than you? I lied to myself my whole life. I was willing to be vulnerable enough to admit I cannot do this on my own. I need somebody in the boat with me. I wanted Bob Ross to paint my canvas the way he intended. I said: write my story, take my pen, because I failed up until this point and I was okay admitting that.

There is so much strength in admitting that. I think a lot of people, men in particular, say: I have this, I don’t need help. But what’s empowering about the ability to be vulnerable is to say: God, I need you. And that is how it starts. Something very simple. I need you here because I don’t know what I’m doing. That’s what he wants for us, to take care of his kids. And I just relinquished the idea of doing that.

I would never have thought I’d be sitting here talking about my faith journey, or be a faith-based writer. I always loved writing. My English teacher used to say I was amazing. But I never thought about putting my faith out there for the world to see. I don’t even care, because I think it will help somebody.

[35:45] Megan North:
That is the beauty in sharing your story. When we are going through something, we often feel like we are the only person who has ever experienced it. Once we start sharing, or once we ask for help, we realise there are other people around. That is the gift and the wisdom you are sharing, so other people can resonate with it.

[36:22] Eli Brackenbury:
That is my hope. That somebody looks at it and goes: that’s kind of like me. My job, because God asked me to, was to plant seeds. If they hit fertile soil, awesome. But it’s just to plant the seed. I’ve given away more books than I’ve sold and I don’t care about that. I care more about the message than the marketplace.

[36:49] Megan North:
I love it. I’d like to go back to something from your bio. You deliberately describe your approach as non-churchy. Why was that important to you? And what do you say to the person who wants a genuine spiritual life but has been hurt, disillusioned, or simply put off by organised religion?

[37:18] Eli Brackenbury:
I wasn’t hurt by it. It just didn’t resonate with me. I didn’t understand the pomp and circumstance of Catholicism. I love my dad to death because he gave my brother and I a foundation in who Jesus was. But Jesus’s message was simply: follow me. The rest is going to feel strange and uncomfortable, but follow me. I promise you these things are going to come to fruition in my time.

I wasn’t church hurt. I just was at a point where Catholicism didn’t resonate. So for those wondering how they fit: be quiet. Be still. Have wonder and curiosity about what God has for you. Because I went through that doubt. I went through I’m not worthy. I went through the period of I need to clean up my house first before I come to him. And what I realised is that he just wants me where I am, bruised, battered, broken, it doesn’t matter.

He’ll take you as you are.

That becomes the thematic approach of Finding God at 50. The rest of it is all the different areas of life I had to heal from. Things I didn’t want to face. Things that God gave me the strength and opportunity to turn the mirror on myself and say: I haven’t looked at that in a long time. Be open to the idea that there’s some saving there for you. You are not too far gone. You are not too old. You are not too broken. There is no sin greater than his grace.

I am the most imperfect person in the world. Every day I say that prayer and give my life to him and surrender to the idea that his plan is better than mine. For those struggling with that: step aside for a second, remove emotion from the equation, and ask: what is God’s plan for you? It can’t be any worse than what you’ve got going on. That’s what I did. And my gosh, what a gift.

It’s free. You don’t have to perform for it. You accept what Jesus has done for you and move forward. You will have struggles. It’s a daily thing. But from my own experience, you will have so much peace. It is worth exploring. It is really worth exploring.

[40:50] Megan North:
I grew up Catholic as well. My dad’s brother was a Catholic priest. I remember at about eight or nine sitting in church listening to my uncle do a sermon about being a husband and raising children, and thinking: how can you be up there advising people about this when you are not allowed to be married and cannot have children? Very early on I was really open to and connected to God, and knew there was something bigger. But some of the Catholic things I totally believe in and some things I’d sit there as a child thinking: how can you preach things you have not experienced yourself? It is really interesting, that journey of starting to believe in something bigger and just accepting what is coming to you.

[42:01] Eli Brackenbury:
Absolutely. I want to ask you a question. Have you ever watched The Chosen?

[42:12] Megan North:
The Chosen? No.

[42:13] Eli Brackenbury:
It is on Amazon Prime. It is a story of Jesus Christ through five seasons, and season six is the crucifixion. It puts the Bible into perspective. When I first started on this walk I thought: what is this Chosen? I’ll watch it. My gosh, I cried so much. Because the sacrifice that God sent his son to die for you and your sins puts everything into perspective.

My wife and I have watched it together twice. I’ve watched it three times. It explains the message, what the gospel is, in ways you can understand. If you want to understand what the Bible is and have it in perspective for you, watch The Chosen. It’s not preachy, it’s not religious. It is simply: here is what happened in Jesus’s life, and now you can seek it or at least ask questions about it. It’s an amazing series.

You don’t have to pick up a Bible and start at Genesis chapter one, page one. Everybody loves an audiobook, everybody loves an ebook. But how does this relate to me? What I found is that series is incredible. I’m not preachy, it’s not religious, it’s simply a fact of what happened in Jesus’s life, that now you can seek or ask questions about.

[44:34] Megan North:
I will definitely let you know when I’ve watched it. I love that. So I know you’ve got a couple of other books coming. Are you able to share a little about what’s in the pipeline?

[44:52] Eli Brackenbury:
Finding God at 50 was the flagship, the beginning of how God was going to change my life.

A couple of years after that, my daughter, who is now twenty-three, said to me as she was going through some problems: I told her she had to have faith. She said: how can I believe in something I cannot see? And that became Unscripted. Nobody knows the script of life. I wish when I was twenty-something I had something to reference how life was supposed to happen. We were having conversations about her friends doing this and that and her feeling worthless. And I said: you are right where you are supposed to be. Comparison is a thief of joy.

It is a very non-religious, non-preachy way to approach what millennials are going through. In my time, social media didn’t exist. You didn’t have to justify your actions or get likes. You are measuring yourself against somebody who isn’t living your life.

Another book was Becoming Equally Yoked. I spent twenty-five years married to the wrong people. No offence to them. They found happiness, which is awesome. I love that for them. We just weren’t going on the same path.

My first girlfriend from 1986 came back into my life around June or July of 2024. At a time when God said: when you were thirteen, I introduced you to your wife. And I thought: that’s nuts. We did our junior high thing and then broke up and did whatever. But when she came back into my life, it wasn’t nostalgia. It was simply because God had a plan. When I built my foundation on him and put him first, he rewarded and blessed me with the one he had anointed for me.

We went for our first four-mile walk. She said: I’m not looking for anything. And I said the same thing. We were not looking for it at all.

[47:44] Megan North:
This is your wife now.

[47:46] Eli Brackenbury:
Yes. She is my wife. I am incredibly blessed. It starts at finding God at fifty. Get your foundation right in God, and the good things will happen.

She came back into my life after a thirty-year marriage where she raised four beautiful kids. Her ex-husband and I went to school together. We knew of each other but didn’t hang out in the same circles. He wrote the foreword for The Restoration of Man, my next book.

I gave it to him because I saw a lot of me in him. Men carry things they were never meant to carry. And you pass it on to your kids. The restoration of man starts with healing.

He brought an incredible foreword. And who does that? This dynamic is God given. Me and my wife and her ex-husband sit around together and talk about how God has impacted our lives. I reached out to him recently and he said: I want more of that. Help me. We became this discipling group, which is insane if you think about it.

I was never worried about what his intentions were. I wondered what was best for him and his kids. I want them to look at their dad and say: I want to emulate that. That is the salt of the earth that Jesus asked us to spread. It’s no good in a vessel. It’s better sprinkled on everything.

Twice divorced. How can I write a book about becoming equally yoked? Because God is the third strand in our relationship. He is always at the centre. Regardless of conflict, we are always going toward God, which means we are always going toward each other. There’s nothing that separates us.

Men suffer with this. Guys don’t sit in the driveway for twenty minutes and ponder whether they want to face life. They just have to go. They just have to release the things that aren’t in their control. God gave me the power and the identity to write these things, because writing was initially a talent I had. He said: I am going to use this. And I surrendered to that at fifty. He has presented me with many opportunities I didn’t think I had.

I use some scripture because it’s important to me, but it doesn’t mean you have to wear a polo and khakis and knock on doors. You don’t have to wear a sandwich board in the town square. That is not it. It is very down-to-earth. I really hope the message it brings, similar to this interview, speaks to people.

[52:52] Megan North:
Amazing. And unfortunately we’ve run out of time, so I cannot ask you my last question. Maybe we’ll have to do this again.

[52:58] Eli Brackenbury:
Absolutely. We can do it again anytime.

[53:01] Megan North:
Thank you so much. I’ve loved everything. I knew our conversation would be amazing. It’s really interesting, isn’t it? We only met last week and straight away there was just an instant connection. And I feel really, really privileged to have spent this time with you today. Thank you so much.

[53:24] Eli Brackenbury:
I’m honoured. I love the fact that we could sit here and have a great conversation. Thank you.

[53:31] Megan North:
Really special. Thank you. And I’d like to also thank all of my amazing audience who are very dedicated to this show, my supporters and my sponsors. Hope everybody has an amazing rest of the week and I’ll see you all again next week. And again, thank you so much, Eli.

[53:48] Eli Brackenbury:
Thank you.