Parental Alientation with Vicki Beames | Ep. 19
My guest on this week’s episode of The True North Show is Vicki Beames, an incredibly inspiring woman with a story that is raw, honest and one that you will want to watch. Vicki shares what parental alienation is, how it has completely changed her life and how it affects so many parents and children around the world. It is a silent epidemic that isn’t being spoken about, but one that should be.
Bio:
Vicki Beames is a Mindset and Personal Development coach, Certified Emotion Code Energy Healer and Author.
She is happily married and has 4 adult children from her 1st marriage.
She is empowered, driven and passionate about personal growth and awareness, and loves helping others to step into their greatness and transform not only their own lives, but the lives of their family and friends, creating a ripple effect, reaching far and wide.
She is committed to helping women find peace and beauty in life, free of guilt, shame and regret, through the power of self-love, forgiveness and gratitude.
Vicki is a huge advocate of creating awareness around the toxic syndrome Parental Alienation and has a deep desire to help parents, especially women who have suffered because of this silent epidemic.
Social Media:
Facebook: https://facebook.com/vicki.harrison.1441
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healthy_aging58?igsh=eXl2MDgyZHI0bDd6
Purchase Vicki’s book: https://www.amazon.com.au/Into-Light-Healing-Forgiveness-Gratitude/dp/1779413599
Transcript:
Vicki Beames is a mindset and personal development coach, Certified Emotion Code Energy Healer, and author. She’s happily married and has four adult children from her first marriage. She is empowered, driven, and passionate about personal growth and awareness. She loves helping others step into their greatness and transform not only their own lives but the lives of their family and friends, creating a ripple effect reaching far and wide.
She’s committed to helping women find peace and beauty in life, free of guilt, shame, and regret through the power of self-love, forgiveness, and gratitude. Vicki is a huge advocate for creating awareness around the toxic syndrome of parental alienation and has a deep desire to help parents, especially women, who have suffered because of this silent epidemic.
Welcome to the show, Vicki. I’m really looking forward to our conversation today.
Vicki Beames (01:14)
Thank you.
Megan North (01:15)
It’s so lovely to be welcoming you here. We touched on the parental alienation silent epidemic that you speak about. Can you share a little bit about that? I don’t know—do we call it a syndrome? What do we call it?
Vicki Beames (01:39)
Yes, it’s a syndrome. I didn’t know anything about parental alienation or how it was consuming my life until someone asked if I’d heard of it.
Basically, what it is—according to two doctors in America, Alan Blocky and William Burnett, both MDs who worked specifically with children from parental alienation—is a silent epidemic. It’s real, definable, and toxic. They wrote that parental alienation in a child is on par with physical and sexual abuse. It’s systematic, relentless, and deliberate manipulation, control, and brainwashing of a child to convince them that the alienated parent is unworthy, uncaring, unloving, and dangerous.
It forces a child to choose between one parent and another, which obviously has devastating effects on both the child and the alienated parent.
In my case, as a mother—but this happens to fathers too—I was divorced and living in Ireland for 18 years. I’m from New Zealand and now live back here. My children’s father and I had an acrimonious divorce. Before I realised what was happening, parental alienation had already started in my life.
With my eldest son, it was immediate and effective. He stopped speaking to me. He just exited my life, and I didn’t understand what was happening because we’d always had such a great relationship.
This is what happens to so many parents. Suddenly the children erase them, sever the relationship, or their behaviour changes. They might visit and shut themselves in their room, refuse to eat, use abusive language—it escalates. And often, by the time the parent realises, it’s too late.
Now, I have three adult children I have no relationship with. My daughter—I have no way of communicating with her. I’ve been erased from every aspect of her life, even on social media.
Megan North (05:19)
When I hear you explain this, it sounds similar to gaslighting. Because I imagine when it first started happening, you must have wondered, “Have I done something wrong? Did something happen the last time we saw each other?”
Vicki Beames (06:14)
Exactly. It undermines everything—your love, your confidence, your self-worth. You question yourself and start believing the lies told about you. It doesn’t just affect your family; it spreads.
The narcissist quietly recruits others—schools, friends, even relatives. People you thought were your friends turn their backs, and you don’t know why.
Megan North (07:14)
I think not knowing must be one of the hardest parts. When a relationship ends and you understand why, there’s some closure. But when you don’t know, it must be unbearable.
Vicki Beames (07:53)
It’s like your children are dead to you—but they’re alive. My youngest son lived with me in New Zealand for a year, and when he went back to Ireland, I never heard from him again. Completely out of the blue.
The same happened with my daughter three years ago. She messaged to say she wanted nothing to do with me and that was it. I didn’t even know what parental alienation was until someone mentioned it. Once it had a name, I realised—this is textbook parental alienation.
Megan North (09:36)
When your daughter left, were you aware of parental alienation then?
Vicki Beames (09:52)
No, not really. I didn’t know it had a name or that it was a recognised syndrome. In America, they’re now starting to intervene by removing children from toxic parents and placing them with the alienated parent for treatment. But proving it is hard.
In my case, my children were interviewed by a psychologist, but they were too scared to tell the truth. They’d been coached on what to say.
Megan North (11:24)
You’ve written a book about this already. Has this become your passion and purpose?
Vicki Beames (12:00)
Yes. When my daughter left, it was my tipping point. Many parents hide it, pretend everything’s fine, but inside, they’re dying.
You lose your confidence, feel ashamed, judged, and unheard. Nobody can understand the trauma unless they’ve lived it. Every birthday feels like a funeral. Mother’s Day, Christmas—you hear nothing. It’s living a nightmare.
Megan North (13:27)
I imagine that once you understood what had happened, you began your healing journey—especially around forgiveness for yourself?
Vicki Beames (14:07)
Yes. Until my daughter left, I’d suppressed it and told no one, not even my family. When I finally opened up, the support was incredible.
That was the start of my healing. Writing my book was part of that process and also a way to raise awareness. Every time I post about it, people reach out. There are so many parents suffering silently.
Megan North (17:06)
I can feel the emotion in that. It sounds like relief—that moment you finally understood.
Vicki Beames (17:58)
Exactly. It was the beginning of my healing. I had to face truths, forgive myself, and realise that my mistakes didn’t define me.
Writing my journal and book helped me—and I hope it helps others. I used to drink heavily to cope because I had no outlet. I didn’t even tell my husband. Now I’ve learned to love myself again and rebuilt my self-worth.
I know I’ll be that strong, calm light when my children discover the truth. My love for them has never stopped.
Megan North (20:16)
Yes, and just start from where you are.
Vicki Beames (20:19)
Exactly. If we give up, we’re not there for them. A truly loving parent would never force a child to sever ties with the other parent.
Megan North (21:23)
How are you working with your clients now?
Vicki Beames (21:37)
I began with mindset coaching, studying with Bob Proctor, then moved into energy healing. I became certified in the Emotion Code and will next study the Body Code.
Now, I help parents release the emotions that keep them stuck. Parental alienation creates such heavy energy. Many parents even take their own lives because they can’t see a way out. My role is to bring awareness and help them heal.
Megan North (24:18)
That’s beautiful. It’s how I work too—a blend of strategy and healing.
Vicki Beames (24:46)
Yes. I wouldn’t have survived this without my personal growth work. Healing and growth are key.
Megan North (27:18)
Forgiveness seems to be a big theme in your story.
Vicki Beames (28:21)
Absolutely. And not just forgiving myself—also forgiving my parents. They were only doing what they’d been taught. It’s about breaking those generational patterns.
Megan North (28:24)
So what self-care practices support your mental health now?
Vicki Beames (28:53)
Every day I practise self-love. I go to the gym, mountain bike, meditate, visualise reconnecting with my children, read, and surround myself with positive people.
I’ve learned to say no without guilt and have let go of negative influences. Boundaries have been life-changing.
Megan North (32:16)
Yes, boundaries are everything.
Vicki Beames (33:29)
They are. Once you’ve done the inner work, you build emotional armour. Criticism no longer cuts as deep. You understand that other people’s reactions are about them, not you.
Megan North (34:26)
And you attract better people once those boundaries are firm.
Vicki Beames (34:55)
Exactly. Personal growth is lifelong, and good people around you will lovingly hold you accountable.
Megan North (35:31)
What were you doing before this path?
Vicki Beames (36:00)
I was a dispensing optician for many years but left my job in July because it no longer aligned with me. I want to write another book, possibly a program to help parents heal from parental alienation. I feel divinely guided to do that.
Megan North (37:56)
I think your next book will help so many people.
Vicki Beames (38:28)
I hope so. Many parents are still stuck in the blame cycle. They need to find peace and strength to become the beacon their children can return to.
Megan North (40:21)
What was it like writing your book?
Vicki Beames (40:39)
Challenging but deeply healing. I had to face my truths, but I knew other parents needed to hear it. That’s why it’s called Into the Light—because there is a way out of the darkness.
Megan North (42:16)
What advice would you give to someone starting to explore their passion and purpose?
Vicki Beames (42:33)
Be still and ask for guidance. Be honest about what lights your fire. Be open to change and let go of fear, worry, and doubt. Change begins when you stop living in fear.
Megan North (44:39)
Yes, and flow with it.
Vicki Beames (45:33)
Exactly. Don’t see redirection as failure. Every step builds on where you’re meant to be. I’m now grateful for all I’ve been through—it shaped who I am.
Megan North (47:17)
What’s one truth you’ve learned on your journey that you wish you’d known earlier?
Vicki Beames (47:17)
That I’m always loved by God—or whatever higher power you believe in—and that loving myself is freedom.
Forgive yourself for what’s happened, and thank yourself for surviving it. Everything that’s happened has brought you here. Personal growth is true freedom.
Megan North (49:25)
Beautiful. Thank you, Vicki, for sharing your story and bringing awareness to this.
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